Life is too short to try to make it last longer

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Humans can survive without food for 40-60 days (fact check). Controlled starvation actually prolongs life and makes us healthier (fact check). In other words, according to these modern doctors, we should be fine if we ate once a month. Just some boiled vegetables, quinoa, some nuts, and boiled lean meat if we are extravagant. No salt. For spices only turmeric I guess.

Maybe some people live like that. Not many. Not me. In other words, we do not eat to survive. 

Below are the symptoms of starvation, or lack of food. I eat a lot (fact check) – and I have all these symptoms all the time: fatigue, loss of hair, feeling cold, dry skin, loss of menstrual cycle…

I eat a lot. I thought it must be depression, you know, like: I’m rewarding myself. It’s not it. 

I thought it must be stress, I’m nervous and anxious so I stress-eat. It’s not it. 

I eat a lot because I like food. I like tasty, spiced, starchy, greasy, meaty food.

I eat a lot because I love it.

So instead of torturing myself with diets, I decided to accept what I am and to just be myself. 

Life is too short to waste on trying to make it last longer.

Not eating – for a person who loves food – it’s the same thing as choosing to never have a relationship, never fall in love, for fear of heartbreak. 

It’s better to have eaten and lost it than never to have eaten at all.

I exercise! 10 hours a day minimum I spend cooking – without ever sitting down, 6 days a week. And not like cooking for 3 people, throwing a bunch of stuff in a slow cooker, and watching “Real Housewives” or something. I cook for 100, sometimes 300 people. I carry and trim 100-200lb briskets and pork shoulders every day, 60lb of Mac, plus chicken, beans, ribs… 

Once a week I do my outdoor exercises: cleaning the chicken coop, mixing the compost in the garden soil, cutting wood for the stove and smoker, carrying pig feed, chicken feed, carrying amazon boxes that my wife ordered…

I’m still getting heavier every day. And I am still starving all the time. I wake up hungry, I go to sleep hungry –  after having eaten for hours. I can never have enough – I think about food, I write about food, I make new recipes, I try new flavors. I live by and for food.

It is more than an obsession, more than a craving, more than just need. It’s love. I’m in love with food. With good food. With flavor, with spices, with the crunchiness, the gooeyness, the smells, the colors… I watch videos of steaks sizzling on coals and I get tears in my eyes. I’m in love.

Maybe it’s just the gut bacteria taking over, maybe it’s just some chemical/hormonal imbalance in my middle-aged brain. Maybe it will kill me, maybe it will pass as any other love does. 

NPR Gut Bacteria Might Guide the workings of our minds

But I will not kill it. 

I was in love many times before. And one thing I learned: never let it die. Never be too chicken or shy to ask out the girl (or boy) you love. Never miss a chance to say “I love you.”. Never choose something else instead of love – money, carrier, what other people think. Never give up on love. Always take a chance on love (said by Ella Fitzgerald and Oprah).  All the best things in life are made for love. In the end, you will only regret all the time you spent not doing what you love or being with the ones you love.

Now, critics will say:  “You are just sick. It’s just an addiction, like any other. You are just weak. That’s how the brain tricks you. This same “I do it because I love it” explanation could be used by any addict who is in love with any drug, crack or heroin. “I got to do it. I just love it. Gotta be me.”

And to these people, I say: “There is a difference between a slice of pizza and a shot of heroin. People addicted to heavy drugs are not killing themselves because they love it, but because they hate themselves and their life. Just like people addicted to adrenaline, to violence, or to shooting guns at cops. I love my life. I love my family. I am still controlling myself and I stop at 5 slices of pizza or at one 3/4 lb steak. I still have low blood pressure and my sugar and cholesterol are fine without any drugs. I actually don’t take any prescription pills at all. I know it will change, but until it does… I will be cooking and eating the food I love.”

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