on why I can’t work today

I used to work in an office for 10 years… Well “working” is such a commonly misunderstood word, it means different things to different people. I did not do much in those 10 years… but I had some excuses. Here they are:

Working in the summer was just impossible because of the heat. How do you do anything while sweat trickles down your back, while the humidity pressures all the thoughts into a foggy confusion in your head.
AC were not helping me. They are not healthy, they just spread diseases and create headaches. I suffered from a lot of headaches back then.
And anyway, you can’t work while the beach is calling you, the swimming pool parties, the mountain hikings… And in the evening – the backyard barbeques, the bars, the expectation of the imminent vacation time…
I blame all those school years and what summer meant to us back then. FOr so many years of our life summer was a time of joy, end of responsibility, time to relax and enjoy life and freedom. This is so deeply branded into our subconscious, almost on a genetical level, we are just not programmed to work in summer.
But even if you decided to try to do something – someone you need to complete your project or to get an approval or answer or anything – that someone will be on vacation. Summer is out.

Then comes the fall. Whenever I see those leaves falling I go into deep depression (this might too be because of the school years). And then starts the rain. And more rain. And mud, cloudy days and dark mornings… And we just sit there and remember all the beautiful summer adventures, the unforgettable vacations…And the temperature in the office – it is just never right. Some days it is too hot, some days it is too cold. Should we cool it or heat it, what? Then come those annoying winds carrying all those croaked leaves through all this greyness. My sinuses start hurting and those bloody headaches start.
And then – just a look at all those not finished projects after the unproductive summer months, it just kills me, I am so down, I just can’t, I just can’t. And even if I could, somehow, finally find some strength, because of the global warming – fall is drastically shortened and it is over.

In the winter it is too cold most of the days. By the time you find the will to get out of the warm bed, put 10 layers of clothes, come to the office, wait for it to warm up, take off 9 layers of clothing, drink your coffee in trembling hands while telling everybody how hard it was to get up in the morning, how awful the car ride was, the ice on the road, the accidents you drove by… Half a day is already gone.
And just in the moment you finally start to work, you will notice that the office is too hot, and that you can’t go out in the freezing cold for lunch hot like that and you spend some more time looking at all that snow and wind…. Winter is time to worry and calculate. The bills need to be paid, money for presents needs to be put on side, credit card debt needs to be settled… Headaches, god damn headaches… And anyway, there are not many working days in the winter anyway. Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Secret Santa day, Christmas, New Year’s, Hangover days, Marthin Luther King… When you take those out, the flu days, the dead car battery days and snow days out, you are left with not much… No, just no. I wish I could work in the winter, but I just can’t.

And then finally comes the Spring. But I can not work in spring time. In spring I am just too exhausted from the terrible winter, the body needs to recharge, the blood is changing, the whole machine is waking up. Hormones and itchiness. The flowers start blooming, allergies start, nose is running, dizziness, weakness and those goddamn bloody headaches! And everybody starts to be in love, or in a fight, office romances and some crazy unrealistic plans and ideas. Its tax time. It is house cleaning time, tag sales and moving time. To work? Insane. Where to start? There’s just too many unfinished projects to even start. And then, the global warming – and summer is here suner than ever.

But not everything is that bad. There are some days that you just don’t have a climate based excuse. A sunny day in winter, a cold day in summer… But those beautiful, perfect weather days always fall on, lets say – a Monday. And who can function on a Monday? Mondays you are happy if you survive through them, you can’t possibly do any work on Monday. There is like 100 emails waiting and 100 phone calls…
Or a Friday, even worse. Friday is the day you have to call your friends, make plans for the weekend… Half a day on Friday you spend watching your clock and dreading the traffic. If you wanted to do some work – you will need someone from the town or some state offices – and they end at noon!
Tuesday is OK. It is the day when you make plans. Good preparation is everything. Sharpen your ax for a whole day. You rearrange the folder mountains on your desk, you make little spreadsheets, you assign priorities to tasks… And then on Wednesday some boss or somebody comes or calls a meeting and destroys your whole plan.
Some people have to work Saturdays, but it is futile. They are just to angry at the whole world that is free that day to do any real work.
And, we are left with Thursdays. Some thursdays without a weather based excuse.
On those Thursdays I write this blog.


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